Thursday, March 21, 2019

Five Things You Should Do When Drunk

Okay, the previous list is short for a reason. There are so many more things that you really need to experience while drunk. I’ve tried to keep the list short by only including a few must-have experiences. However, I expect most people to accomplish these and then start working at their own speed.

  1. Hook up with a stranger for a one-night-stand. Fuck yea! Being drunk is always a good excuse.  Give him or her a fake name and do not let them know where you live.
  2. Buy a round for the entire bar. It’s even better when you don’t have enough cash and your credit card is over the limit. This may be uncomfortable at the moment, but you’re going to be drunk, right? Embrace it. Have fun with it. Laugh out loud about it. It will make a great story for later. For what it’s worth, I recommend doing this in a bar where you don’t mind getting 86ed.
  3. Be profound. Do this and you’ll feel like the coolest person ever.
  4. Speak with a foreign accent all night. After about five cocktails, it will start feeling natural and start becoming really funny.
  5. Throw bottles, and/or anything else made of glass, into the street. Trust me on this one. You don't realize how fucking cool this is until you do it loaded.

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